


Worst Date

by Doctor_Discord



Series: The Ego Manor [102]
Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Adorable, Blushing, Cute, Dorks in Love, Dr. Iplier Loves Embarrassing the Host, Embarrassment, Hilarity Ensues, Kisses, Lots of blushing, Radio, Social Anxiety, Worst Date, i love these bois, i love this, lots of kisses
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-28
Updated: 2019-08-28
Packaged: 2020-09-26 09:41:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,644
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20387638
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Doctor_Discord/pseuds/Doctor_Discord
Summary: Dr. Iplier tells the story of his and the Host's worst date live on the Host's radio show.





	Worst Date

It was that special time of the month again where the Host abandoned his usual radio show and answered questions he got off his forum. This time, he’d managed to convince Dr. Iplier to join him. At first, Dr. Iplier had pretended to be grumpy and annoyed that he was dragged onto the show, but as it went on it became readily apparent it was all a façade, with him grinning and laughing along with the Host as they read out the – sometimes serious, mostly ridiculous – comments.

“Okay okay okay, here’s another one: ‘What’s your favorite thing about each other?’”

Both Dr. Iplier and the Host flushed. The Host’s Sight flashed just in time to catch Dr. Iplier giving him a small smile. “Well…I don’t know if you guys have noticed, but the Host is _very _good with words. More than you’ll ever know.” The Host snorted, and Dr. Iplier chuckled, but continued speaking. “Anyway, he just…always knows what to say. No matter what the situation is, or what’s happening, he can just…make me _glow _with just a few, simple words. _That’s _my favorite thing.”

The Host’s face and neck was completely _red _by the time Dr. Iplier was done talking, bowing his head and pulling up his coat so it covered his face. “Thanks.” Dr. Iplier laughed, kissing the top of his head. The Host cleared his throat, emerging from his makeshift cocoon. “Um…the Host’s favorite thing about Dr. Iplier would have to be…his voice.”

The Host grinned, laughing, as Dr. Iplier smacked his shoulder. “We have the same voice, you self-obsessed moron!”

The Host laughed again. “Be that as it may, Dr. Iplier’s is still unique to the Host’s ears. It’s the first thing the Host hears when he wakes in the morning. And – usually – the last thing he hears at night. The Host truly looks forward to when he speaks.”

He could tell Dr. Iplier was raising an eyebrow just by the tone of his voice. “Usually?”

The Host smirked. “Well, sometimes Dr. Iplier is too busy snoring to speak.”

Dr. Iplier sucked in an indignant gasp. “And you _had _to ruin it!”

The Host chuckled, turning toward his computer monitor. “Next question.” He forced his Sight to activate, scouring the blur of text that was his forum and laughing at the stream of variations of calling them adorable. He picked the first real question he saw, clicking the icon that read it aloud for him.

_‘What is the WORST date you two have been on together?’_

Dr. Iplier immediately burst into laughter, nearly falling out of his chair as the Host flushed three shades of red, suddenly unable to speak. “Oh ho ho _man!_ Buckle up, guys, this is gonna be a _trip!_”

The Host gripped his shoulder, shaking his head. “Please don’t.”

Dr. Iplier laughed, pressing a kiss to his cheek. “Hey, they asked, my dear! It’s not my fault you are adorably awkward!” The Host flushed darker, and Dr. Iplier shifted closer to his mic. “Okay, so, I don’t know if you guys know this, but the Host is blind. I don’t mean unobservant, I mean literally blind. As such, you can safely assume he is the most socially awkward and anxious man on the planet.”

The Host hid his face in his hands. “_Doctor!_”

Dr. Iplier laughed, enjoying himself far too much. “What, it’s true! I can count on one hand all the times you’ve left the property.”

The Host frowned, opening his mouth to retort.

Dr. Iplier pressed a finger to his lips, kissing his nose. “Wandering out in the woods _does not _count!”

The Host clacked his jaw shut.

Dr. Iplier snorted. “Anyway, on one of the few occasions I convinced him to leave the house, we went to this cute little café on the edge of the city. Family owned place, right? Themed like a library, with books everywhere and quotes painted on the walls from famous authors and all that, super cozy. It was the only place I could convince him to go. The Host enjoys his aesthetic.”

The Host’s forehead audibly thunked against his desk, and Dr. Iplier stumbled over his next words, too busy giggling to himself as he reached over to tangle his fingers in the Host’s hair. “Yeah, something else you should know; the Host has to wear bandages over his eyes due to his blindness, his eyes are _real _screwed up.”

The Host snorted. “That is an _understatement_, dear doctor.”

Dr. Iplier hummed, gently massaging the Host’s head. “Yes I know. Point is, he looks a bit frightening at first with mildly bloodstained bandages wrapped around his face. So when the poor waitress came over, she nearly had a heart attack. Dropped her little notepad and pen and everything. And _that_ is when _everything _started going downhill.”

The Host groaned. “The Host regrets bringing Dr. Iplier on for this.”

Dr. Iplier laughed. “No you don’t, you’ve been begging me to agree to this for months. Now hush and let me tell my story.”

He cleared his throat exaggeratedly. “So anyway, this poor girl takes down our order with a _lot _of stammering and noticeably avoiding looking at the Host. Now _he _is already a blushing, flustered disaster with equal amounts of stammering, having exactly _no _experience dealing with any living being outside our own family. So already things were a bit awkward. Keep in mind, this like only about a year or so into our relationship, and we’d only know each other for about two. It takes me _that _long to convince him to leave the house.”

The Host’s head shot up – Dr. Iplier’s hand still tangled in his hair – and he smacked his beloved on the shoulder. “Dr. Iplier should try leaving a familiar setting when he _can’t see a thing!_”

Dr. Iplier made a small pitying noise, patting the Host’s head. “I’m not belittling you, my dear, I’m just accentuating you are a very stubborn individual! Anyway, going back to the story, once the waitress left, things smoothened out a bit. We talked, a ton of handholding, kisses across the table, all that cute couple stuff.”

Somehow, the Host flushed even darker, to the point where he knew he was on the verge of bleeding. He dropped his forehead back to the desk, hands once more covering his face. “Doctor _please_.”

Dr. Iplier chuckled. “Can’t leave any details out in a good story!”

“Dr. Iplier enjoys embarrassing the Host far too much.”

He pressed another kiss the top of the Host’s head. “I won’t deny it. You are _very _cute when you blush.” The Host grumbled something under his breath, his blush visible creeping down the back of his neck, and Dr. Iplier laughed, still running his hands through the Host’s hair. “Yes, well, things were fine until another human entered the scene. The waitress was back, with our drinks, and the kid was so freaked out she just gave both drinks to me to avoid putting her hand anywhere near the Host. It was awful.”

The Host let out another low groan. “It was so _awkward _and _uncomfortable_ and the Host felt _awful_. Why must Dr. Iplier tell this story?”

“Because it was requested! Now hush, you know it’s not over!”

“Yes, the Host is painfully aware of that.”

Dr. Iplier giggled to himself. “Yeah, so, she left again in a hurry. At this point, I’m trying to reassure this Host and keep him from crying in the middle of a public place, because with tears comes blood from the permanent open wounds in his face and that would _not _help the situation. Unfortunately, I did not succeed, not entirely, because social situations are _very _stressful apparently.”

The Host let out a slightly muffled whine. “They _are_.”

Dr. Iplier snorted, briefly resting his forehead against the Host’s bowed back, his shoulders shaking with laughter. “And even _more _unfortunately, he started crying and therefore bleeding _just _as the waitress brought out our food. Imagine this: you’re a kid working at some café and trying to juggle work and school, and then this weird-ass couple – oh sh – fff – sorry, whoops, forgot your no-swear rule – walks in with one of them looking shady as Hell with bloody bandages wrapped around his eyes and wearing one of those long trench coats. Now your reasonably frightened, as you do, and fast forward maybe half an hour and you come to give this couple their food and this shady dude is crying _blood_. Naturally, the poor waitress screamed and dropped our plates.”

The Host lifted his head, drawing a deep breath. “Being blind, and having even less of a warning than Dr. Iplier at the incoming noise, the Host jumped a mile and screamed as well, _also _not helping the situation. Not even remotely.”

Dr. Iplier hummed, rubbing the Host’s back. “Yeah, you were pretty inconsolable at that point. The back-to-back screams there caught the attention of most of the other employees and the few other customers there, too. They took one look at the bleeding Host and kicked us out. Pretty sure we’re banned as well.”

The Host nodded, letting out a drawn-out sigh as he leaned back in his chair, tilting his head back. “Indefinitely.”

“Huh. Oh great. That’s a fun little add-on I didn’t previously know about. Shame, too. Place really was cute. Wouldn’t’ve mind going back eventually. Guess that’s out of the picture.”

The Host scrunched up his face, lacing his fingers with Dr. Iplier’s. “Can Dr. Iplier and the Host _please _move on from that fiasco of a memory?”

Dr. Iplier snorted, leaning over the Host and practically draping himself across his lap in order to reach the monitor with the forum pulled up. “Yeah yeah, I’ve embarrassed you enough to last me a good couple days. Next question shall we?”

**Author's Note:**

> _I fucking love this story, it is my absolute favorite, I love it to pieces, I love my son and I love Dr. Iplier so fucking much, oh my God._  
*Ahem*  
Anyway, Sunday is a bit of an experiment on my part! It's a Marvin-centric story! See you then!
> 
> Tumblr: doctordiscord123.tumblr.com


End file.
